Walk a mile (or step) in my shoes

I understand that if you haven’t been through it, then you can’t truly understand what it feels like to have infertility or to lose a pregnancy, to lose a baby.  I understand that other people’s lives have no direct impact on my fertility.  I understand that other people can’t plan their pregnancy’s or how they feel about them around how I might feel.  I don’t want people to feel like they have to walk on egg shells around me, but treading lightly wouldn’t hurt.  All I wish that people would do is TRY to put themselves in my shoes before they speak (or in today’s example, send pictures of their latest ultrasound)

Yes, I am happy for you.  Any child is a miracle and while I don’t begrudge you yours, recogonize the fact that I have been through a lot, for a long time, and I am still grieving a loss.  The only picture I have of my baby is an ultrasound-and by sending me a picture of yours it just reminds me that my baby is gone, and it hurts-like hell- to see that.

While I don’t wish miscarriage or infertility upon anyone, I do wish compassion and understanding on them.  Its not fair that I’ve had to struggle for 2 years to get pregnant, or that I’ve lost 3 pregnancies.  Its not fair that I can’t simply feel happy for others successes-but that’s my life.  Would you send someone who just lost a child-an actual living, outside your body child, an ultrasound picture of theirs?  I doubt it.  While no one else knew my baby-I did, and I grieve its loss everyday.


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