When it rains it pours

I’m beginning to think my family is medically cursed (at least for now).  My father was diagnosed with carcinoid cancer in his liver back in June (the timing couldn’t have been better-I found out 6 days after my D&C).  He had surgery in July to resect his liver, and hopefully solve the problem.

Well, turns out there is more cancer-more than we thought at least. He’s going to have a second surgery to remove part of his small intestine and colon-because the cancer is there to.  Hopefully through surgery it can be treated, and he’ll go on to live a long and healthy life-and be closely monitored for re occurrences, but there are no guarantees.  I’m also having to take the information that is passed along from my parents as fact-which I don’t know how accurate they are.  I’m finding them to be quite the alarmists, as well as slightly martyr like, and its exhausting me!

I am.so.tired.  I can barely find the energy to go through my day-live normally, and take care of my fertility treatments on the side.  I definitely don’t have the energy and/or time to have to take this on as well-my brain can’t handle it all!

I also feel guilty-guilty I can’t 100% be there for my parents, because I have my own crap to take care of and worry about.  Guilty that I’m not worried enough about my dad.  I just have to believe he’s going to be ok and get through this-because mentally I can’t handle thinking that he might not be.

So-if anyone has any extra prayers-if you can send a few Pop’s way-that would be fabulous!

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