During week 30, shit hit the fan, so to speak.
I have been on bedrest for 4 weeks now, and thought things couldn’t get worse-what a whiner I was! Then I got GD – not great, but not terrible-just one more thing I thought
Thursday I was struck with Bell’s Palsy-which is the inflammation of the 7th cranial nerve, causing paralysis of half your face. No joke-I look like I’ve had a stroke and I can’t move the right half of my face. It SUCKs. I look like a freak, can’t blink my eye and can’t chew/talk/drink properly. Oh, and the right side of my face and ear hurt. One week later, and I can’t say that its gotten better at all. Recovery takes anywhere from a few weeks to months-hoping I’m on the low side, but who knows!
Friday we went in for our 30 week scan of the babies and brother’s growth has slowed significantly. His sister is a chunky monkey, at about 3.5lbs, but he is about a pound less, only gaining around 6 ounces in 2 weeks. We go back next Wed for a follow up, and if his growth hasn’t caught up, we’re talking delivery. At 32 weeks. To say I’m scared is an understatement, but after talking to various people over the last week I’m a little more at peace. I know if they come soon, they will be in the NICU, but they will ultimately be fine. I just worry about them, and part of me feels like a failure. My body is having a hard time keeping them in to start with, is failing apart and now may not be able to keep two babies healthy. I know this isn’t my fault per se, but I feel like my only job is to grow these babies and I’m not being very successful at it.
So, this past week has probably been one of the hardest of my entire pregnancy-and it makes me sad that I can’t enjoy these last weeks of being pregnant. But, it is what it is and I have to remind myself that this is all temporary. The goal all along was to become parents, not to be pregnant-so as long as we can get these babies here and have them be healthy my pregnancy and the prior IVF was a success-no matter how miserable I am or how much my body is not great at being pregnant!